Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Better Than A Pink Flamingo

Sunday morning. Watching "New Homes" show in the boob tube.

A woman whose hair is a shade of red that can only come from a cheap bottle of colour, wearing a puke green suit with a purplish scarf, brays enthusiastically about a new subdivision that she likens to the Andalusian region of Spain. Her basis for comparison? Homes will be situated on a slope like the terraced hills of Spain. Rightee-oh.

Every house is at least 3000 square feet, bloated and bland, its mediocrity obscured with splashes of marble and tile. Lots of bling, identical to the house next door.
Realtor Lingo:

Professional Landscaping = Contractor hired a team of underpayed illegals to lay some sod and plant a few sickly yuccas.

Views for Miles = Views of McMansions just like yours.

Surrounded by wildlife = Termites, since all the actual wildlife went the way of the dodo, when the developer leveled everything for miles.

Spacious = Twenty-foot ceilings in entry and living room suitable for roosting pigeons.

Liveable From Day One = Has indoor plumbing.

Big, Beautiful Homes = Big, boxy, ugly and situated on a postage stamp.

Wonderful Sense of Community = Homeowners' association that would put the Nazis to shame.
My house may be tiny and lacking in tile and other "must haves," but it has one of these in the backyard.

Nikster, The Un-Flamingo

P. Kirby


Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005