The Bunny Suicides

Or "Pat Does a Girly Scream."

First mistake I made was having a bit of lunch before I went out to see the horse. When I got home from lunch, Nik the Wonder Horse was standing by the gate, waiting. Now, I've been trained correctly, right from childhood. When I was coming up, kids were taught to take care of the four-legs before themselves.

This, of course, is unimaginable with today's overindulged child. Can you imagine the furor? "Parent tells child that animal is more important." God forbid that the little bastards actually value another life over their own.

But I digress. Usually, my lunch comes after Nik's. Today I tried to grab a quick lunch before going out to visit the equine. Two bites in, he starts screaming at the house. He made such a commotion, people in Iraq wondered what the fuss was about. Putting down my lunch, I gave up and went out.

Seeing me, he threw a bucking fit. Then he laid down and rolled, got up and bucked some more. I trudged into the barn, got a brush and fly repellent and commenced grooming my equi-brat. Next I gave him lunch, and got out the pitchfork and wheelbarrow. Just as I was rolling the barrow into the paddock, I glanced at his water trough. The water was a little low and mildly algae-green.

Then I caught sight of something tan. Leaning over, I came face to face with the milky white, dead eye of a rabbit. Dead rabbit, floating in the tank. Sort of like the dead elves in the Dead Marshes (Lord of the Rings, Two Towers), only fuzzier.

Insert the girly scream--not so much a scream, more like a squeak.

Why does this always happen when my husband's not home? Because I like spiders and creepy crawlies, he gets out of the usual manly critter duty. But he's supposed to deal with corpses, especially soggy ones.

I had to fish the vile thing out of the tank with the pitchfork. Next, there was dumping out all the dead rabbit water--Ew.

Perhaps, this was the reason behind Nik's tantrum. He's a vegetarian after all and can't possibly appreciate rabbit stew.

Poor horse. Stupid rabbit.

P.K.