Fifi, Is That You?

This is clearly a case of what happens when you give a dog access to the Internet.

To 'Your Retail Store':

Today I went into your store, and I was appalled and disgusted that you blasphemed Almighty God Jesus Christ and His Most Holy Nativity Christmas by selling from your store shelves a filthy pornographic lamp that said "Christmas" Story on it. REMOVE THAT PIECE OF FILTHY, PORNOGRAPHIC BLASPHEMY FROM YOUR STORESHELVES AT ONCE!

The blasphemous object in question being a lamp shaped like a leg. Yep. A leg lamp.

My mom once had a dog who like to hump the throw cushions on the couch. That dog never developed a lust for legs, but if it had, I imagine this lamp would've been well loved.