Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Friday, September 17, 2010

I Don't Touch Myself

So Christine O'Donnell thinks "Masturbation Isn't the Answer?" What, pray tell, is the question?

"What's the capital of Indonesia?"


Yeah, she's right. It just doesn't work.

(Of course, many Christians will tell you Jesus is the Answer. And, uh, that really doesn't work either.)

Naturally, the idea that Little Miss No Dildos abstains from self love has been met by disbelief. Especially since she's ogling the youth pastor in that video in a way that suggests her panties are getting a tad moist. It's unlikely that the average human, possessing the usual complement of sexy nethers, hasn't had at least a few accidental, erm, brushes with self-induced pleasure.

For an answer to this mystery, I harken back to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Remember when Spike, tired of lusting after the real McCoy, constructs himself a Buffybot?

O'Donnoll is a Teabagger's Buffybot.

Unlike Spike, who, after a few centuries, must have known his way around a woman's body, this bot-maker is the typical Teabagger geek, living in Mom's basement, sucking down Cheetos. Having never actually spoken to a real women--sorry, Mom doesn't count--much less touched one, his grasp of anatomy is flawed.

The resulting construct, while lifelike and pretty, is as smooth down south as a Barbie doll.

O'Donnellbot is the perfect Conservative/Teabagger/Republican woman. Eager to please, with no capacity herself for any pleasure. No pesky need for self-determination to diminish a guy's already shriveled manhood.

Though, I must say, I'll give her some props for threatening polluters with eternal damnation.

Fun conversation with Bill O'Reilly on Fox "news," regarding a Catholic bishop refining the definitions of the seven deadly sins on March 28, 2008:
O'REILLY: But if you hurt somebody by pollution, if you're a big corporation, you're dumping chemicals in the water, you're going to hell.

O'DONNELL: Again, that's greed.

O'REILLY: You're going to hell.

O'DONNELL: Absolutely.


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