Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Transportation Personalities

PT Cruiser--Welcome to my midlife crisis.

Toyota Scion Xb--When I was a kid I rode the "short bus." Now I drive it.

Fully tricked out Escalade--My monthly car payment is bigger than your mortgage payment. Alternately, I'm a retailer of fine recreational drugs, inquire within.

Late Eighties Honda Civic with two tone--Bondo and primer--paint job--I've got ten cars in my yard. This is the only one that runs.

1970s Volvo Station Wagon in Dirt Brown--Shaving is just another tool of the patriarchy. Hurray for hairy pits!

Dodge Caravan--Not now, I'm multi-tasking (i.e., yelling at my Honor student, while applying makeup and nagging my husband via cell phone. Support the Troops!)

Dodge Viper--Take me home; get me nekkid. When you see my teeny "goods," remember, "I drive a Viper!"

Ford Probe--I like driving a car whose name sounds like something extraterrestrials might do to abductees.

Vehicle, any, with government tags--I'm in no hurry, I'm on the clock.

Lincoln Town Car--I'm ninety, I'm blind and deaf. Huh? What's a "bike lane?"

Hyundai Tiburon--I bought it because it has a cool name. Unfortunately, it's a shitty car that looks like every other car on the road.

Truck, with or without camper shell, packed to the gills with people, old women in the back--I'm Native American.

Vehicle, any, with Virgin Mary mural and owner's last name in rear windshield--I'm Mexican.

Moped, any model--I have absolutely no pride and am still a virgin.

Harley Davidson Motorcycle--The best 1980s technology money can buy. Don't mind the oil leak, it's just marking its territory.

Hyperbike--I'm a twenty-one year old male, certain I'm immortal, but destined to be an bloody smear on the pavement.

Battered Schwinn bicycle--I've got fifteen DUIs and a revoked license. I'd still be driving if the transmission hadn't fallen out of my car (see Late Eighties Civic, above.)

Happy Friday,
P.K.

 

Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005