Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

What's Bugging You?

Stealing this idea from PBW, because today is writing critique/chat day and I don't have time for much else.

Stuff That Icks, Squicks and Irritates Moi

1. Precious Moments Figurines. Hate 'em. Want to smash every one I see. Creepy offspring of Betty Boop and a Close Encounters alien.

2. Hugging. Any. I'm sorry. Unless you're my husband, I don't like to be touched. Abnormal, I know, but really, keep yer mits off me.

3. Mouth-kissing relatives. WTF is up with that? Nothing ickier than relatives slobbering on each other's mouths. Want some tongue, Grandma?

4. People driving under the influence of cell phones. Honestly, WTF is so important that you can't wait till you get where you are going? "It's because I have chiiildren, Pat. You don't understand." Right. My mother had chiiiildren. So did my grandmother and great-grandmother. None had cell phones, all got along just fine.

5. People who don't wash their hands after using the restroom. Yes, the rest of us know who you are. We see you stroll out of the lou with nary a pause at the sink. Oh, and running water over your fingers for two seconds doesn't count.

6. Mouth breathers. I don't care if you have allergies. Close your fucking mouth. Unless you're the dark knight of the Sith, aka, Darth Vader, I don't wanna listen to you wheeze.

7. Clowns, especially Ronald McDonald. If the Bush administration wanted to do some real good in the world, they'd declare a War on Clowns.

8. Monkeys. Shit-flinging, creepy little fuckers.

9. The falling-off-their-ass pants that teenage boys wear. Since when did looking like Al the Plumber become sexy? Especially pointless when you're a skinny, ass-less, pimple-faced boy with a super-short, "I've got lice" haircut.

10. Anyone, anyone, who utters the phrase, "What about the chiiiildren?" with any sincerity.

Runners up: contemporary country music; live-action movies with talking animals; the assumption that all women love chocolate candy; cut Christmas trees (it's like death in the living room, covered in lights.)

What weird stuff bugs you?

Wednesday...humpy, humpy.

P.K.

 

Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005