Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I Need A Hero

The Academy Award nomination are out and as usual, I haven't seen any of the films in the "Best Film" list. I've only heard of three--Brokeback Mountain, Crash and Capote.

I have no desire to see any of them. Brokeback Mountain is a chick flick. I don't do chick flicks, despite owning the requisite anatomy. Capote is a biography and I don't do bios. The name "Crash" sounds familiar but I have no idea what it's about. With the exception of History of Violence, I'm not terribly interested in any of the movies in any of the categories.

Except for the animated movies. I want to see all three: Corpse Bride, Wallace and Grommit, Howl's Moving Castle.

The last time I'd seen any Oscar nominated movies was back in 2003, when Lord of the Rings and Master and Commander were on the list. I've seen both movies so many times I've memorized the dialogue.

Call me one of the unwashed masses, but I like action films. I want explosions, car chases, and better yet fantasy and sci-fi. Gimme spaceships that fold space and swords. And heros...larger than life. As the song says, "I need a hero. I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light. He's gotta be sure, and he's gotta be soon, and he's gotta be larger than life."

Unfortunately, 2005 was a crappy year for action fans. We bore witness to the third installment of the Star Wars franchise, "Revenge of the Sith." It was better than the first two movies, but the comparison is like saying dog shit smells better than human shit.

There was War of the Worlds, featuring a protagonist, played by Tom Cruise, whose stupidity made destruction of the human race a good thing. Batman Returns was okay, but burdened by Tom Cruise's favourite uterus, Katie Holmes. If there was a "Too Stupid to Live" Academy award, Holme's character in "Batman" would take home an Oscar.

The Goblet of Fire, the latest in the Harry Potter franchise was pleasant, but uneven, and I had no desire to fork over money for Narnia. King Kong looked promising, but I always root for the underdog, or in this case, under-ape, and couldn't muster the courage to face a simian snuff film.

The second Underworld movie tempts, but all our movie-going money is being slurped up by the kitchen remodel. Overall, the only real gem was cult-fave, Serenity.

The Shrub is yapping on the telly tonight, so I think a good action film is in order. The well-made Master and Commander or some happy tripe like Demolition Man? Decisions, decisions.



Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005