Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Satan ex Machina


The most successful member in Team Evil gets no recognition.

Saddam Hussein? Amateur. Nope, I speak of the unsung anti-hero, Mr. Orange Traffic Cone Guy. I imagine him, puttering down the road in a battered work truck, his cargo of orange mahem stowed in the truck bed. As he approaches the site, his palms break out in a cold sweat and his heart races. Evil loves the thrill of anticipation, it's half the fun.

Then he flicks on the little "Caution" lights on top of the truck and screeches to a halt.

First he checks his watch and the calendar. Timing is everything. Good, the road construction doesn't actually start until tomorrow. Good, it's three in the afternoon. He should have these suckers out and one of the lanes shut on a major traffic arterial by rush hour.

He sets up the cones and has a hard-on the entire time. What a rush, man.

If he really wants to fuck things up, he can take his break in the blocked lane. That way the flashing lights will freak the timid drivers who will drop to a speed too low to be measured by a speedometer.

I bet the bastard beats-off as he imagines all the battered wives, kicked puppies, heart attacks, and homicides that his mischief will generate.

This snippet of nastiness brought to you by Albuquerque road construction and Compulsive Brake Woman in her big ole "Jesus Loves You" child hauling van.

I had the pleasure of being behind Compulsive Brake Woman before I hit the road construction. You know the type? She needed to tap her brakes every five seconds to make sure they're still there. Sort of like some men who have to reach down and check their package regularly...just in case.

"Brakes, brakes, brakes?" "Dick, dick, dick?"

But it's Friday. Whew!

Have a marvelous weekend.

P. Kirby

 

Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005