Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Only Good Ewok Is A Dead One

I spent Saturday night killing Ewoks and Wookies.

The husband and I were playing Star Wars, Battlefront on Xbox again. The game allows you to indulge your Dark Side in two ways. First, you can play as a Stormtrooper, which means killing Wookies.

The Ewoks only show up in the battle of Endor re-enactment where you're playing on the Rebellion's side. Technically, the Ewoks are allies. But they're patently useless; they waddle around making stupid whooping noises. Meanwhile in the background, announcer voice is saying, "The Empire has captured another command post. We are losing reinforcements." Fat lot of good the revolting little glass-eyed, teddy bears do.

So when one totters into my path--Zap!--I lay him low with my laser. Sometimes I'm merciful and go for a head shot. Other times, I soften them up a bit with a few shots to the ass. Very satisfying. Although Wookies are more fun to slaughter because they make quite a racket when they die, roaring and bellowing. (More sporting, really, since they can fight back.)

It seems Ewoks make good eating, as illustrated by an old entry in Darth Vader's blog. Should you decide to whip up Ewok rather than turkey for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday, here's a great recipe.

The desire to hurt fuzzy things is the function of a case of super-bitch. Saturday was in-law day and I managed to play very nice with sister-in-law. Sunday, we had a booth in Art in the Park and I was in perky sales mode all day. All that "nice" about made my misanthropic head explode.

Growl.

Anyway, I'm off to beat a very live horse and get some writing done. Have a great Monday.

Moff Kirby

 

Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005