Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Lost, The Other 48 Days

Apparently, this week, the creators of "Lost" had better things to do. They came up with about two-thirds of a show, got bored and resorted to old footage for the remainder.

This week's episode was brought to you by Tide laundry detergent. How else to explain Mr. Echo's preternaturally white shirt? He swims to shore and then proceeds to slog through surf and sand rescuing survivors and dragging the floaters to shore. And through it all, his shirt is still gleaming white. Forget a signal fire; just leave him on the beach. I'm pretty sure that shirt can be seen from space.

Unfortunately, that evening, the Others show up and Mr. Echo, demonstrating that rocks aren't just for opening up coconuts, kills two and bloodies the shirt. Goodbye white shirt, hello shiny brown skin.

Any-way, I guess the point of this week was to avoid flashbacks and tell the BackEnders' story. One would have hoped that it also would explain how Anna, excuse me Anna Lucia, caught her permanent case of PMS. But explanations for Anna were as scarce as honest politicians.

Note: The Rat Dog, jealous of all the veterinary attention lavished on the Greyhound, decided a case of impacted anal glands was in order. So my viewing of "Lost" was punctuated by her trips across the rug, zipping along on her butt, leaving brown streaks. We are so going to have to pull up all the carpets. [And yes, I tried to stop her--"Bad dog"--but she's sneaky.]

Back to the crash site: Mr. Echo and Libby "I'm not a doctor; I'm a shrink" are saving lives. Anna stops scowling long enough to administer CPR to a child. Aw, I guess this means she has a soul. (So did Angel, but he was still a vampire.) My husband, fresh from a CPR course, cheerfully points out, "She's doing it wrong." Nathan, who might be handsome is not for too-close-together-eyes, finds Bernard, his belt on and seat back in the upright position, stuck in a tree. (Question? On the TWOP forums, folks say Bernard was in the bathroom at the time of the crash. Why's he in a seat, now?)

Anna and Goodwin run to the rescue. Goodwin, who flunked physics, wants to climb up the rickety-ass tree and save Bernard. Anna refuses and talks Bernard down. I think this was supposed to make Anna look smart. Mostly it makes Goodwin look like a dope.

The rest of the episode proceeds accordingly, much like the story of Jack, Kate, Locke and company, but sans flashbacks and most angst. Anna-Lucia is paranoid, domineering and nasty from the get-go. No reason is given, so I've decided she's a drug lord who expects people to follow her orders. Female drug lord, cool no?

There are some stupid moments like when someone constructs a rabbit trap. "Rabbits?" says my husband. "There are no rabbits in Hawaii." No, but there are chickens. Do the chickens only roam on this side of the Island? Anyway, Goodwin catches a bird, snaps its little neck and cooks up some free-range fowl.

All the while The Others have been harvesting Back Enders. Mr. Echo who killed two the first night, is doing some sort of weird penance by not talking. When Libby asks him if he'd like some chicken, I really wanted him to say, "What? Just because I'm black doesn't mean I like chicken. Not all black people love chicken." Instead he responds with stony silence.

Anna, meanwhile goes into full-scale paranoid. She decides beady-eyed Nathan is the Others' mole. Because she didn't see him on the plane. Uh-huh. He tells her he was in the bathroom. "For two hours?" she responds. I point out that he was also in the jungle going potty for two hours. The poor boy has some gastrointestinal problems--Australia's verson of Montezuma's Revenge.

Anna digs her pit of Despair and dumps Nathan in it. The truth is out there and she'll torture Nathan to get it. Right. According to John McCain, former POW, torture doesn't work. Oh, well. The other Back Enders tolerate the abuse of Nathan because at least the Bitch is leaving them alone.

One dark night, Goodwin the Merciful rescues Nathan and snaps his neck. He goes back to camp and leers at Anna while she sleeps, thinking that she'll make great Other breeding stock. The whole plot loses steam at this point. Anna and Goodwin go up the hill to get a better radio signal. They play verbal chess, Goodwin admits he's the Others' mole (where'd he get the nice clean clothes?) and Anna skewers him like a wild boar.

Do Goodwins make good eating? (With Chianti and fava beans.) Alas we will never know. She comes down from the mountain, but unlike Moses, she didn't bother to use the radio to communicate with the Beyond. A while later, Bernard gets a signal: Boone right before the drug plane squishes him. Anna The Killjoy shuts off the radio, claiming it is The Others.

After forty days and forty nights, Noah sights land and Anna Lucia sobs alone by a stream. Mr. Echo breaks his silence and comforts her because day forty is a magic number. Why? I dunno.

Perhaps Anna is bitter because all her crew found in the Dharma hideout is a Bible and a glass eye? No happy Mama Cass music and secret snack chambers.

Meanwhile, The Rat Dog's brown streaks have started to spell, "What's the point?" on the rug.

From thereon, we get a bunch of flashy-fast-forwards through all the stuff we've already seen. Jin shows up. Then Sawyer and Michael. Mr. Echo beats them bloody. Into the pit...etc.

At the end, The Others start their Sauron-style whispering, Anna spins around, gun in hand and Shannon emerges from a puff of radioactive green smoke. Heck, with that entrance, who wouldn't shoot Shannon?

Er, the pacing was fast, stuff happened. Too bad very little of it was actually new stuff.


Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005