Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Lost, Everbody Hates Hugo

Hit him. Hit him again. I like Sawyer, but it turns out I really like it when Sawyer gets beat up by a girl.

This week we followed the backstory of the Island's token fat man, Hurley. Since we all know the fat-enhanced are jolly, this episode ends with hugs and comfort food, just like mom used to make. Uh, seriously.

Rolling back to when Hurley finds himself in possession of the winning lottery ticket: Standing in his mother's living room, he sees that The Numbers are the lucky lotto numbers. His eyes roll back in his head and he crashes to the floor. Mama Hurley rushes in, alerted by the quake. Turns out Mama Hurley is snarky. She tells him to pray and maybe Jesus will come down and take away a hundreds pounds and give him a woman. Heh. The phone rings and Mama says, "It's Jesus. He's bringing you a car." Love Mama Hurley.

The rest of the flashbacks follow Hurley's adventures with his little buddy, Johnny (D.J. Squalls), the poor man's Bob Denver. Instead of the good ship Minnow, they have Johnny's van. Hurley and Johnny are work buddies, spitting in milkshakes and sneezing on five piece chicken dinners at a fast food dive. When his boss, using a sneaky employee cam, busts Hurley eating the profits, Hurley gets to play out everyone's fantasy--"Take this job and shove it." Little buddy Johnny follows him into unemployment. The two banditos go on a yard gnome-stealing spree and they then artfully arrange the little critters on their former boss's lawn. Bet that violates all kinds of neighborhood association covenants. Along the way, Hurley scores a date with a cute girl.

The point? Hurley hasn't cashed in his winning ticket yet. All the frivolity with Johnny and kitschy landscaping is underscored by Hurley's odd prescient knowledge, "that this is all about to change and no one will like me anymore because I'm a rich, fat bastard." Which ties into his current responsibility as the Keeper of Desmond's snack chamber. Everyone will hate him because he is rich in food!

Michael, Jin, and Sawyer are still in The Hole. For the pervs who visit via the Google query "homoerotic Sawyer and Michael" this week's slashy goodness was provided when Sawyer tells Jin, "Wanna pee on it?" Jin had Korean-babbled* something at Sawyer, gesturing at the festering flesh wound on Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer responded with the urine line. (*I say this because the Spanish usually spoken on most English-speaking television shows doesn't sound like anything a real Spanish speaker would say.)

Enormous Black Man and Ana the MegaBitch (Michelle Rodriguez) haul the boys out of the hole. (I think I got her name wrong before; oh, well. Angry women are all interchangeable.) It seems, with movies like "Girlfight" under her belt, Michelle Rodriguez is building a career playing testosterone-heavy women with huge chips on their shoulders. (The archetype bores me; this is why I don't read Lauryll K. Hamilton.)

She shows off her machismo by smacking Sawyer around. If the previews for next week's epi can be believed, this is some sort of S&M warm-up to a relationship between the two. Moving beyond the pleasure of seeing Sawyer get beat, her tough-girl schtick is megalomaniacal. Somebody (the missing Rear Of The Plane's survivors?) died and made her Queen Bitch. Which leads to the big revelation on this end of the Island: Ana and companions are just plain old crash survivors (maybe). The Others are still out there and they're hungry.

Hurley, meanwhile, is driven mad by the idea that no one will like him anymore. He goes all UnaBomber and prepares to blow up the secret snack chamber. The wise and grandmotherly Rose counsels him--she who knows her husband is still alive--and he finds another way. There isn't enough food to feed everyone for very long, so Hurley gives it away on a dark night. Campfires flicker and everyone laughs and smiles like Paxil commercial, snacking on peanut butter and potato chips. Happy-happy-happy.

The warm feelings are mirrored on the other side of the Island when a timid middle-aged man asks Michael et al if a woman named Rose is among the Front of the Plane survivors. Sawyer says, "A middle-aged black woman?" and timid guy's face lights up. Aw. (Hey. Wait a minute. Isn't that the Holland Manners, the chief shark in the evil law firm on the show "Angel?" "Lost," the place where "Angel" alumni go to revive their careers.)

The epi lacked any new developments, but then again, the strength of the series is the characterization. I 'spose it doesn't hurt to take an episode and build some character. A minimum of Shut-Up Jack makes up for lack of forward movement. It would be nice if the writers would give Sayid a function other than the Hot Brown MacGyver. Also surprised the NAACP wasn't all over this one, what with Rose, the black woman, doing the laundry.


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