Beat Head Against Wall
Pointless conversation with Nikster the Wonder Horse.
ME: You have to stop digging holes all over the paddock. You're a horse, not a gopher.
NIK: Carrot?
ME: Yesterday, the wheelbarrow got mired in your latest excavation.
NIK: Carrot, now.
ME: One of these days, you're going to trip in one and hurt those skinny legs.
NIK: CARROT, NOW!
ME: We can't afford the vet bill.
NIK: Bored. Me bite something.
ME: Ow! And we'll take you to the glue factory. You'll seal up the Christmas card envelopes. At least you'll be useful.
NIK: Fun. Do over.
ME: Don't you bite me again.
NIK: Don't dig, don't bite, what can I do?
ME: And about the fencing you've torn.
NIK: Blah, blah, blah, stupid human. Bored. What do? Dig hole!
ME: [Putting self in timeout.]
Because the wheelbarrow did indeed get caught in Nikster's Crater, spilling horse shit everywhere. Most odious horse task, however, is not shoveling horse apples. It's moving bales of hay. Because I'm horribly allergic to his dinner and I break out in hives, sneeze, etc.
Busy Wednesday. Got writing chat this afternoon. Have a good slump, er, hump day.
Pat K.
ME: You have to stop digging holes all over the paddock. You're a horse, not a gopher.
NIK: Carrot?
ME: Yesterday, the wheelbarrow got mired in your latest excavation.
NIK: Carrot, now.
ME: One of these days, you're going to trip in one and hurt those skinny legs.
NIK: CARROT, NOW!
ME: We can't afford the vet bill.
NIK: Bored. Me bite something.
ME: Ow! And we'll take you to the glue factory. You'll seal up the Christmas card envelopes. At least you'll be useful.
NIK: Fun. Do over.
ME: Don't you bite me again.
NIK: Don't dig, don't bite, what can I do?
ME: And about the fencing you've torn.
NIK: Blah, blah, blah, stupid human. Bored. What do? Dig hole!
ME: [Putting self in timeout.]
Because the wheelbarrow did indeed get caught in Nikster's Crater, spilling horse shit everywhere. Most odious horse task, however, is not shoveling horse apples. It's moving bales of hay. Because I'm horribly allergic to his dinner and I break out in hives, sneeze, etc.
Busy Wednesday. Got writing chat this afternoon. Have a good slump, er, hump day.
Pat K.
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