Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Winning Cover Letters

On a work kick. Ganked from a blog whose address I lost. Original source is supposedly July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine. Old, but fun. Some highlights:

2. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."
Forest, Forest Gump
5. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
Oops!
7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
Yeah, you and me both, buddy.
10. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details."
11. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
But you still list her basement as your address.?
13. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
I sorry. We only hire equines. Didn't ya read the ad?
14. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
Oh, irony. Me likes. I'd hire him.
17. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
Honest. Honest is good, no?
18. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
And the world's vampires thank you.
19. "As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments."
Ah, an Enron exec.
20. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
If you're gonna fuck up, do it big. Shows ambition.
23. "Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
Heck, that's awful. And Amnesty International is wasting their time worrying about all that other petty shit.
26. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me.
Attila the Career Hun; Leave no bridges unburned.

Writing...
Surrendering to my rodent-like attention span and working on both the romance and book two.

P.K.

 

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