Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Quiz: Time to Quit Your Job?

From Esquire, July 2005, page 46

1.When the alarm lock goes off in the morning, you're...
A. psyched to hop in the shower and start your day, (1) B. cursing (2) C. crying (3) D. wishing you were handicapped so you'd never have to leave your bed. (4)

2. Which person is most like your boss?
A. Gandhi (1) B. Ben Affleck (2) C. Hitler (3) D. Paula Adbul (5)

3. How long is your commute?
A. Less than a half hour (1) B. More than a half hour (2) C. Long enough to contemplate driving into oncoming traffic three times (4)

4. What is your mandatory work outfit?
A. None, thank you very much (1) B. Suit and tie (2) C. Suit and bow tie (3) D. Pointy hat made of felt (4)

5. What do your coworkers do for you on your birthday?
A. Lobster lunch with champagne and cake (1) B. Ignore you (2) C. Punch you in the arm while counting off your years (3) D. Light you on fire (4)

6. What percentage of your day is spent doing something a
nine-year-old retarded girl could do? A. None (1) B. 3 percent (2) C. 50 percent (3) D. Uh, how severely retarded? (4)

7. What is the number-one benefit you get at work? A. Learning stuff and whatnot (1) B. Health insurance (2) C. Krispy Kremes (3) D. Black lung (4)

8. What do you see while you're working?
A. An amazing view of the city. Crikey, is it beautiful? (1) B. Lots and lots of graffiti (2) C. The back of someone's dandruffy mullet (3) D. Nothing since the bleach accident (4)

ANSWER KEY: Add up the points assigned to each answer you chose.
1 to 9 points: Stay where you are.
10 to 19: Start working on that resume
20 to 26: Get fired: collect unemployment
27 to 33: Apply for a migrant-worker gig.

My answers, applied to craptastic County job (no longer employed there; just making sure the bridge is good and truly burned.)

1. D (4)
2. D. [Insipid ass kissing toady](5)
3. C (3)
4. A (1)
5. B [Not their fault; I was sneaky about birthdays.] (2)
6. D [Government job.] (4)
7. C [Actually...my answer would be "using the laser printer to print up nice sharp versions of my manuscripts."] (2)
8. None of the above. Lived in a world of lurid fantasies of me and an AK47.

According to all my fingers and toes, my tally is: 21

Happy beginning of the work week.


Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005