Ramblings from the Desert

The man who trades freedom for security does not deserve nor will he ever receive either. ~Benjamin Franklin

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Location: New Mexico

Author of the urban fantasy novel, The Music of Chaos, and the paranormal romance, The Canvas Thief.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Tantric Sex Through Viagra

Parents.

Trouble having 'the sex talk' with Little Johnny?

Skip all the embarrassing stuttering and hem-hawing and hand him a Viagra advertisement.

From "Patient Summary of Information About Viagra" in Newsweek magazine:

How Sex Affects the Body.
When a man is sexually excited, the penis rapidly fills with more blood than usual. The penis then expands and hardens. This is called an erection.

Really? Do people who need Viagra not know this? If so, they have larger issues than erectile dysfunction.

After the man is done having sex, this extra blood flows out of the penis back into the body.

(And if we are lucky, some of it makes it back to the brain)

[Raises hand.] Um, okay, but how does the man know he's "done"? What's the signal? The overwhelming urge to roll over and go to sleep? Details, Pfizer, we need details.

The erection goes away.

Where does it go? Snerk.

If an erection lasts for a long time (more than 6 hours), it can permanently damage your penis. You should call a doctor immediately if you ever have a prolonged erection that lasts more than 4 hours.

A four hour erection? (Suddenly hearing the theme to "Gilligan's Island"--"A four hour cruise" Perhaps that's how the gang ended up on the Island; The Skipper had a Viagra malfunction.).

Four hours! Yipes and yee-ouch. [Crosses legs.] Tantric sex through Viagra. I'm a big fan of the naked mambo, but even an hour sounds like a bit much. I mean...who has the time?

During sex, your heart works harder.

Only if you're doing it right.

Before you start any treatment for erectile dysfunction, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough to handle the extra strain of having sex.

Huh? Oh, sorry, I got nothing. Just stupid adolescent giggling.

If you have chest pains, dizziness or nausea during sex...,

Dude. If sex is making you nauseous, you need to be choosier about your sex partners. Leave the barnyard animals alone.

... stop having sex and immediately tell your doctor you have this problem.

Picturing naked, nauseous, old geezer calling his doctor. And...the image strikes me blind. Ach. Now I'm nauseous.

It's so good to know that modern medicine is giving us a world where eighty-year old men can have four hour erections. Thanks Pfizer.

Stuff...
Bright and sunny. I have a raging headache which I have overmedicated with handfulls of aspirin and Tylenol. My stomach is a churning miasma of acid. Need to go visit the Nikster again, but evil glowing thing in the sky is making my skull hurt.

Television...
Shiny new "Lost" episode tonight. I finally have a "show" again! I'm digging the bad boys, naturally. I married the good guy, but bad boys are still fun.

Sawyer is great. But the other resident man-with-past, Said, hooked up with blond skank in last epi. Me not happy. She's gonna give him V.D. Or erectile dysfunction.

Writing...
Cranked out at least 2000 new words on PD. Stopped worrying about writing linearly and wrote later scenes.

Got a thanks for "submitting, writing is good but..." rejection from editor at EOS. She was nice enough to send back the chapters even though I only included postage for letter. Made note to thank her for comments--play nice so I can query for next book--and reused her envelope and returned manuscript for agent submission.

Didn't mail agent sub today because of aforementioned headache. Not much writing tonight because of aforementioned telly watching.

Cheers,

P. K.

 

Graphics and Content Copyright © Patricia Kirby 2005